Beyond the TV Screen
by Spinxy
Summary: The first chapter is just a prologue so don't worry about it too much. Just a little bit of coarse language (not much) but the rest should be fine. Please R&R!
1. Prologue

Crash has been a dear friend to me, kicking Cortex's butt every time. Enjoy! _(this prologue doesn't have anything to do with Crash until the very end so don't review it about having nothing to do with Crash or that it's crap)_

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Prologue

Nazza and Joe are sitting down at McDonalds and Joe slips into his coke his vanilla powder to give it the, shall we say, intriguingly smooth vanilla taste. His addiction of vanilla coke has lasted ever since it came out. Nazza slowly shook his head in his sarcastically stupid way, stifling a laugh. "What?" Joe said a little bit too loudly. It was just loud enough to alert the manger who was in her office on the other side of the building. She stood up and unlocked the seven locks on her door that were originally put there to keep loving fans out of the office but, well, Ford took the idea and the locks were kept there ever since. She opened the door and looked directly at Joe, the source of the noise. Joe gulped and quickly glanced the sign he despised with a passion, the Hexham McDonald's...   
  


**NO VANILLA COKE SOLD OR DRUNK IN THIS STORE, EVER SINCE 1984!**_ (don't ask)_

...sign

Joe, being a previous offender, started to go pail and sweating on every part of his body that you can think of that sweats terribly _(yes, even there)_. The manager was five tables away, then four, three ,**two** ,**ONE...** Nazza spilled his coke onto the floor and the manager slipped over and fell into a spinning chair on wheels. Nazza picked up what was rest of his coke and poored it over the manager while tying a rope around her and gagging her. He pushed her to the other end of the complex, right into her office which was conveniently closed by some Hollywood director who thought this was a movie and he was the director. Nazza sat down and looked with some satisfaction on Joe's stunned face. "Y-y-yo-you..." Joe stuttered. "Y-yo-you wasted your coke on her?" Nazza's face now changed to a stunned expression. Joe was obviously stunned for the wrong reason (according to Nazza). Joe was a coke-a-holic and this act of spilling the coke was highly against his rules.  
  
_Bring-a-bring-bring! Bring-a-bring-bring!_  
  
Nazza was luckily saved by the bell, I mean the phone. He picked up his mobile/cell phone (yes, I do compensate for our American viewers and whatever countries use cell phone as their word and no, I don't know what model Nokia it was. For all I know it could be a 5569 model from the year 4009 but it isn't so I wouldn't have a clue what it was. But I do know that you can talk to other people with it), "Yallo!" His usual greeting rang out over my mobile and mine bounced back into his with an echo that wasn't there before, "Hey man, man, man, man." _(that was the echo)_ Nazza pulled the phone away from his ear as my annoying voice bounced off the inside of his ears. "That's wierd," I thought. "I've never done that before." Suddenly McDonalds was filled with a bright light and Nazza and Joe held hands because they were scared _(I know it sounds as if they are gay but they aren't, it's just something stupid that I threw in)_ and they couldn't see a thing. The same was happening to me as I was talking to Nazza. The light was surrounding me and I had no idea where it was coming from, and then I figured that it was me! I was the source of the light. At McDonald's the light was coming through the phone! The light coming from me was connecting Nazza _(via the phone)_ and the light that was connecting me to Nazza was also connected to Joe _(via Nazza's hand)_. Then all of a sudden the light went out and I saw nothing. I heard the accellerated breathing of my lungs. I also heard the breaths of two other people. "Holy Crap!" Nazza's voice said from the darkness. Then Joe's voice came out of the darkness, "Even though I don't swear I say the same thing." "What the hell is going on?" I asked them. Nazza openned his mouth but nothing came out for he saw a light coming from the not-too-distant future, I mean spot. He saw a shadow that looked awfully familiar to him and I. Joe started to breath really fast _(hyperventilating if you want to get technical but I'm writing this story in Notepad so I can't be bothered to go into Word and check it's spelling because I'm not even sure if I've spelled it write now)_ Then I figured out what the shadow was of. Crash Bandicoot _(I know you guessed it but I don't care, if you didn't know this stroy was about Crash then you would have liked that suspensful dot-dot-dot)_

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Well there you have it. Another crappy prologue that doesn't really have anything to do with the real story except introducing the characters and telling you how Nazza, Joe and myself got into Crash's world and saying that Hexham Maca's is really crap so in the end I guess it was a really good prologue. Please R&R with suggestions for upcoming chapters because I think a good author-in-the-making takes suggestions from his fans! **JOKE!** _(I don't have any fans)_


	2. We're in PLAYSTATION LAND!

So**...** I get to meet Crash Bandicoot! I've always wanted to do that, always always always! And now I can! I know it's only a story but I don't care. If it works for me then I'm happy. 

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The light, so it turned out, was a sun**...** but it was made out of 3-D pixels! The whole place was just like the game _(only with better graphics)_ and even the crates were there and one had the face of Aku Aku! I saw a chicken running around, a wizard who was pathetically trying to zap us. **"AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!"** Joe screamed. **"I'm in PLAYSTATION LAND!"**_ (if you don't get this, just wait till the third chapter is up. It will only be bio's of the characters that have appeared so far. Could be amusing and will appear every three chapters)_. He ran off screaming, bowled over the wizard that started to try and zap him and kicked the chicken into a conveniantly placed soccer goal. This really freaked Joe out because he has never scored a goal in his life! That was the last I ever saw Joe for this chapter _(but not the last time you see him in this chapter)_. "Pity," Crash said to our astonishment. "He looked like a good kid."  
"He is," Nazza said for the first time since the 3-D sun came up.  
"But he is one of the arch-nemesises of Sony," I said to Crash. "I.e You."  
Crash put a hand to his chest. "Someone other than Cortex doesn't like without getting payed?" he said with a self-pity kind of tone.  
"It appears so," Nazza put forward.  
"Aww, crap!"  
Nazza and I both drew a sharp breath. Never have we ever imagined that **Crash Bandicoot** would curse. In front of people. This world was much different than watching it on the T.V. And indeed it was because I just realised that my clothes had changed to something really cool that I never knew I could wear. Plus Nazza and I wear made out of cool 3-D pixels. We were 3-D men! My hair was black and I was wearing some pitch black denim jeans and a pair of steel-capped work boots, also black. I was wearing a utility belt which had heaps of stuff on it, eg. A black drink bottle, a map of the whole Crash Bandicoot area _(all areas in Crash 1, 2, 3 and Cortex Strikes Back)_, a discman with Linkin Park, MetallicA, The Offspring, Korn _(sorry, I can't do backwards K's)_, AC / DC, Marilynn Manson _(and much more that I can't be bothered to list)_ installed into its memory. Plus a pair of black sunglasses. My shirt was also black and plain and I was wearing my leather jacket that I got for my last birthday. I took the sunglasses off the belt and put them on. "Cool!" I said. I like it here. Nazza had also changed but he isn't important so I won't list his changes. All you need to know is that he looked pretty cool too.

I saw Crash gingerly pull out a splinter from his chest. "What happened there?" I asked, pointing at his chest.  
"It's all those boxes I have to keep jumping on," Crash said. "If only i still had my bazooka here. I could break 'em open much easier and I could shoot that bloody wizard with out getting zapped." "Here," Nazza piped up. "Maybe this would help." In his hand he held the box of a sling-shot and several stones. In the side it said 

**"ACME Self-loading sling-shot. Never worry about the time taken to reload or fire again!**

Crash grabbed it and ripped it out of the box. He aimed it at the box with Aku Aku's face on it and pushed the trigger on it's side. A rock was hurled off the cord on which it was held and smashed the box open. The slingshot clicked and another stone was already in its place, ready to fire. Crash yelpped with excitement and ran around shooting anything and everything he could find, even thos addorable little chickens. "One question," I said to Nazza. "Where the hell did you get that?"  
"I don't know," Nazza replied. "I put my hand in my pocket and when I took it out, I was holding a slingshot."  
"This is starting to feel more like Looney Tunes© than Crash Bandicoot."  
"You're right. Maybe you should change scene and start writing it like Crash."  
"Not just yet. I want to pull a few things out of my pocket."  
And I did. I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a**...**

rubber duck.

I put my hand back into my pocket and pulled out the secret weapon that everybody gets in a game that they use. i.e Crash gets a bazooka/slingshot, Squall in FFVIII© gets his Lionheart sword, in Dragon Ball/Z/GT everybody has their signature moves _(eg Frieza's little laser from his finger. Piccollo has his Special Beam Cannon. Krillin has his Destructo Disk etc.)_ I just haven't figured out what my weapon is yet so I'm not going to tell you what it is yet. Nazza also pulled out his special weapon and I don't know what that is either so I'm not going to tell you what it is.  
  


**SCENE CHANGE!**

  
  
Joe sat down behind a 3-D tree and closed his eyes. He started to speak really fast, "I need some coke, I need some coke, I need some vanilla coke!"  
"Here you are son," a deep voice said that scared the crap out of him. Standing before him was a man and in his arms he held an industrial sized can of vanilla coke. It was so big that it was bigger than the man that was holding it**...**   
  


**To Be Conitnued...**

  
  


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Oh no**...** who is this man and how did he get an industrial sized coke? I want it! **WARNING!** Do not review the next chapter unless it is about the previous chapters or saying how funny it is because it is only bios of previously appeared characters! **So enjoy it!**


	3. Bio's

Crash Bandicoot© - Beyond the TV Screen - Bio's

This is just a bio's page so if you don't want to know anything about the characters I've put in so far...

DON'T READ IT 

** Nazza the Kid **

Nazza is a good friend of Spinx _(me)_ and does lots & lots of stupid stuff with him. He is responsible for making

Spinx _(that's me again)_ the crazy guy he is today! So you can send your complaints to him, not me _(Spinx)_!

Here are a few things you can blame him for...

1. Giving me an imagination _(I don't know how, he just did)_

2. Making that imagination sick and twisted

3. Introducing me to GOOD horror films _(Jeepers Creepers, Nightmare one Elm Street, Friday the 13th etc. I introduced myself to Chucky the really kool evil doll)_

4. Giving Joe an imagination

5. Letting Joe have one-too-many vanilla cokes

6. Not **STOPPING** Joe from having one-too-many vanilla cokes

7. Introducing me to 

8. Letting me write a fic on Crash Bandicoot and other stuff _(so blame him for my bad fics)_

9. Everything else that's wrong with me.

And now for the things about him that you should need to know before continuing with the story.

1. He likes his Playstation 2 and computer, thus Crash Bandicoot and CD's

2. He is good friends with me and Joe

3. He plays Ratchet and Clank a lot!

4. He goes to school with me and Joe

5. He hates all the teachers I hate and likes all the teachers I like _(a few teachers jokes will come up soon)_

6. He, unfortunately, likes 24 _(again, I'll rip off 24 in this fic. Much to Nazza's dislike)_

7. Nazza and I put up with Joes, ahem, antics all day long _(stupid Joe who likes Nintendo)_

8. Nazza and I are crazy bastards who do stupid stuff _(check out our website, to see some of the crazy stuff we do)_

** Spinx the Sphinx **

Spinx, now what can I say about myself? I could say that I'm good looking, rich, owns a V8 Mustang, is the

popular guy and is well built. But we all know that that be a huge lie and if I was the popular guy I wouldn't

spend my time on the computer writing fics for other people and putting them on the internet. So I will tell you

the truth. I'm good friends with Nazza and Joe and write really good fics _(cough cough)_. Do crazy stuff and do

the really unpopular thing and post it on the net. These are the things you can blame me for...

1.  Being born

2.  Meeting Nazza

3.  Being a spock _(smart person)_

4.  Creating a universe in my own head

5.  Learning how to read and write, thus learning how to write this fic

6.  Trying to be a comedian

_7. _ Being a, according to Nazza, "pimp" _(this does not mean that I like Fifty Cent, I think that they are                   the  gayest "band" ever)_

8.  Liking Metallica _(Metallica will also come into the story)_

9.  Making Moppy a weird psycho _(rip off)_

10.  Liking The Offspring _(you know)_

** Crash Bandicoot **

A playful little bandicoot that likes to save the world, lie in the sun and annoy his sister, Coco. This little buddy of Playstation players around the world is one of the key elements of this story and hates, absolutely HATES 24! _(sorry to all 24 lovers but I don't like and I'm voicing my opinion)_ He will be the one who defeats... no one, he will be taken captive and made to fight in a colosseum with lions running around everywhere _(Tiny Tiger's arena in Crash Bandicoot __WARPED__). _So too bad for all who thought he would be the hero. He just has to lose some time.__

**!!!!! LOST, ONE BOY!!!!!**

Joe, good friend of Spinx and Nazza, son to his parents and brother to his dog, we have lost this boy. He was last spotted in a 3-D forest in the world of Crash Bandicoot. A man was seen giving him an industrial sized vanilla coke. The source of this last sighting is the author of the story you are reading. The only other thing we could get out of him was that the coke belonged to him. Joe is one of those boys who gets scared of the dark when he is in a lighted room so we need to find him fast. **_He will be found_, **_just not yet_, is all the author said other than where Joe was and about the vanilla coke. He also said _(apart from that Joe will be found, the coke belongs to him and that Joe was last seen in a forest) _that Joe deserved getting lost because he is stupid. He also said _(apart from that Joe is stupid, Joe will be found, the coke belongs to him and that... Aaah stuff it, you know what I said so I'll just finish this Chapter here)_


End file.
